Day 83 - Yard sales & goodbyes

~sigh~

Yes, that's how I'm starting this post, with a sigh. KFB is taking a backseat to life right now. I skipped my workout yesterday and drank WAY too much last night (which really isn't much compared to my past, but still too much). I woke up this morning, sad, with a slight headache and thinking to myself, "Oh yeah, this is why I've made those seemingly hard but healthy choices over the last few months. I hate this feeling." My body doesn't like skipping workouts; it enjoys the activity, the stretching.

Let's back up. The reasons for yesterday's decisions. One. I had a yard sale. I woke up early, and with the help of a kind friend, spent the morning moving furniture and stuff into my yard, then spent most of the day working it. Then, moved all the stuff that didn't sell into the carport and helped my new roommate move some of his stuff into the house. It was a busy day. And, last night was the very last concert of some close Gaineville friends (or should I call them family, that's what they really are). I'm not the only one moving on from Gainesville. 2 of the 3 band members are leaving...one to DC and the other to Hawaii. Tonight will be a goodbye party for the first ones to go. Hence the drinking too much last night.

It's all so heart-rending and final. All of it. The yard sale, the last concert, the good-bye party. Other final things, my gecko and my fish are gone. I've found good homes for them. My house is slowly emptying of the things that I identify as part of me, MY leopard gecko, MY aquarium, MY bookshelves, MY ficus tree, MY scales, MY books, MY CDs, MY, MY, MY STUFF. Symbolic and strange and scary.

This week, a best friend will fly home to South Africa for Christmas and his sister's wedding and won't return to the States until the day I start my journey to southern Africa. Symbolic and strange and scary. I'm dreading this moment, this good-bye with this person. Odd that its the first true good-bye. All I can do is just try to focus on the present moments and appreciate each one for their beauty, let myself grieve and move on. This is life, true and real.

And, so, with that thought, I will move through my day. I'll do my workout from yesterday and just finish out a day behind. No big deal. I'll eat healthful, good food today and nourish my body for the stress to come. I recommit to watching my intake of intoxicants so that I can enjoy all the moments of my life fully. Don't get me wrong. Last night was fun but it's a rarity, not the norm. I'm still here; I'm still plugging along; I'm scared but open and ready to face what's to come.